About That Journey

“About That Journey”

By

J.B. Galui

Copyright 2013

Published by: J.B. Galui

Opening:

Haven’t seen Stevie in awhile, not since she left the next morning after her ‘I’m getting married so fuck me’ night. Hell I just considered it my gift to her knowing I sure as hell wasn’t invited to her wedding. Maybe if I was lucky she’d return my gift sometime. I know she’ll be married, but I’m no fucking saint, so what the hell do I give a shit. Ah, who am I fucking kidding, it was probably more like a ‘farewell asshole’ fuck and I’ll never see her again. Not that way anyhow. Who the hell cares, I got laid.

Jimmy, that dumb prick, he’s been seeing Carlie way too much. He says it’s to spend time with his kid. Well maybe to a point that’s true, but I know he’s been wetting his dick with his ex bitch just as much. Stupid fuck. He better be slapping some latex on that cock of his, I wouldn’t put it past that bitch to get herself pregnant again just to suck his ass back in. And I know the fucker would go in a heartbeat, even after the shit she did to his dumb ass.

He did tell me he’s also still seeing that woman he met at the bar. The short and petite one that works at the office supply company. I guess that date went real good for him that night. Says he’s been joy riding her around too. That she’s real good at spit shining his dick. It’s a wonder the prick can make it in to the jobs everyday. He’s getting more dick action now than he did most of his married life. Maybe the bastard isn’t that fucking dumb after all. I should find out if there’s another one like her for me at that supply company, sounds like the supply and demand there are pretty fucking good.  

Chapter 1:

I’m so fucking glad it’s Saturday. I can tell that goddamn alarm clock to kiss my ass. It’s one of the few pleasures I look forward too. And that motherfucking cell phone from hell, that gets shut down too. Anyone wants me, it better be to give me a shit load of cash or a blow job. Other than that, fuck off and stay away.

It’s one of the many guidelines I have in my fucked up life. Guideline 1, Saturdays translates to stay the fuck away day. I drink to excess Friday night. I eat shit that will eventually kill me if the booze don’t get there first. I watch movies, good movies not the fucking bullshit ones you watch with a girlfriend shit but good ones, till the early morning or till I pass out, whichever comes first. And I wake up whenever I goddamn feel like it. And I do my fucking best to stay with this guideline. It may not be for everyone but it works for me. Don’t like it, make your own fucking guidelines.

Guideline 2, follow the sign I placed on the door. Yeah, I posted a sign on my door. I had too, with all those fucking pin headed pricks that come knocking to sell me shit I don’t want, preach to me shit I don’t want to hear, or come to visit when I don’t want bothered. So I posted a sign that says ‘No Soliciting’ ‘Don’t Come By Unannounced’ and finally ‘Don’t Knock Or Ring Bell’. I think that should fucking cover all the bases. Still there’s that occasional dumb ass who must not be able to read. Just like this morning.

I wake to some motherfucker pounding on my door. I sat up like a goddamn dog who heard a fire whistle, the motherfucker startled the shit out of me. Now I’m cluster fucked awake and my fucking head is pounding like the prick outside is hitting my brain the way he’s hitting my door. This shit ends now. I pull my shorts on, yes I sleep in the buff. Fuck you, like I’m the only one. I head to the door and grab my bat that I keep just for this one of many reasons. I slowly open the door. There stands two motherfucking pimple faced bible thumpers. And without a pause they start into their spiel.

“Good morning sir. We’re from the church of the Holy Word and we’d like to first give you one of our pamphlets. This is the basis of our teachings.”

Now the first thought that goes thru my pounding head is ‘what the fuck did that fucker just say’ as he’s pushing a booklet at me. The motherfucker was talking so fast he sounded like an auctioneer. My fucking brain wasn’t ready for this shit. So I take the pamphlet and throw it inside.

“We hope we didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

I’m standing in my fucking underwear with a pounding head and this prick has the balls to say he hopes he didn’t catch me at a bad time. You stupid motherfucker. I finally get what little brain matter shit I have together and I look at this smiling asshole who just startled me awake banging on my fucking door. That’s when the prick inside me started taking over.

“What’s your name there happy jack?” I asked him sarcastically

“I’m Bill and this is Johnny.” 

The Bill one must be the leader of these bible heads on bikes idiots. He stupidly reaches out to shake my hand, but I was in no mood for their glad handing shit.

“What’s your name sir and do you know Christ as your savior?”

Now my inside prick is about ready to use these two jackoff's heads for batting practice. But I try my best to keep my inner prick at bay, no sense wasting the rest of my day burying these two dumb fucks in the back yard. So I reach way down inside, and I mean way fucking down inside, to calmly relay my fucking point to these two dip shits as best I can.

“As a matter of fact I do know Christ and he’s standing right here beside me at this very moment and do you know what he’s whispering in my ear? He’s whispering to me that I shouldn’t kick both your asses for being stupid. And I also know right now, he’s the one who is most likely looking down over you two dumb shits because you’re both still breathing. Now let me ask you a question. Can either of you two bike riding, helmet wearing, pamphlet pushing shit heads read?”

They both stare at me like I was speaking in tongues.

“I mean you’re handing out this literature shit, but can either of you two dip shits read it?”

Still they stared. I think the asshole in training actually sprouted three new pimples.

“You see this sign that I took the time and effort to write and place on my door purposely for fuckheads like yourselves?”

I took the bat from around the other side of the door and pointed it to the sign.

“Do you need me to read it to you two fuckers?”

They both stepped back a foot or two.

“I don’t think your language and attitude is very appropriate sir.”

Oh, this Bill fucker with the ‘I don’t like your language and attitude’ shit has balls, I’ll give him that.

“You’re right, but it’s either my language and attitude or I use this ball bat to shove those fucking pamphlets up your ass. Now take your stupid Holy Word pamphlet asses. Hop on your little bikes and get the fuck on your way. Don’t forget to put on your helmets, god forbid you should bump those two empty things on your goddamn shoulders you call heads. And don’t fucking come back till you can read a fucking sign. And even then don’t bother fucking coming back.”

By that time they were both down the steps and peddling away. Dumb assed ignorant fuckers.

Now I’m too jacked up to go back to sleep. Where the fuck are my little white pills? And fucking people wonder why I drink. Because of fucking people that’s why. Stupid motherfuckers just going thru life being stupid. And I’ll be damned if they aren’t everywhere. Fuck I need some coffee.

Chapter 2:

I make it to the kitchen and damn it didn’t I forget to set the coffee maker. No coffee! This fucking sucks. I have some instant shit but damn that isn’t really coffee. That’s the fucking shit the janitor scrapes off the coffee company floors after he mops them. Lets it dry into a clay substance in some back room even the rats won’t go near. Then they put it in a jar and call it instant coffee.

Fuckin’ A, what the hell, it’s quick and I need some caffeine. This shit will kill you, so I pour some tequila in it. Fuck it, it can’t hurt.

I walk into the living room. The TV is still on. I must have had a hell of a drinking fest last night. I don’t remember watching TV. Fucking instant coffee tastes like shit. Even the tequila can’t mask the shit taste. Maybe a shower will wake my ass up and I can go get some real coffee, but first I’m just gonna sit here, scratch my nuts, and stare at this damn square mind numbing TV prick. Wish I had one of those big assed screen HD fuckers. You know the ones that are so big you have to move out. I’d love one of those. I’d also love some fucking real coffee but I don’t have that either. This sucks.

As hard as we work I barely have enough cash to get my ass thru the weekend. And I don’t even live large. I fucking hate this paycheck to paycheck shit life. And the motherfuckers we do work for, with all their cash, those pricks sure as hell don’t want to part with it. Oh, they want the work done but when it comes time to pay, fuck I could write a book filled with all the fucking excuses they give to not pay on time.

Like the fucking bitch we worked for on Friday. She managed to get out of paying us. She’s another one. Like the two assholes in The House on Cocaine Corner. She wants too keep that goddamn almighty dollar as long as possible. She has this going on or that going on. Her fucking kid has a tennis match and she’ll catch us later. Fucking bitch. She has more excuses not to pay us than I have hairs on my ass. I know her old man keeps her on a real short monetary leash. He has too or the bitch would run amuck. She a conniving fucker. I overheard her one day talking with one of her other asshole friends, she thought I was in the other room with Jimmy. She was bragging about how she ‘did her homework’ on trapping her old man. He had money, she fucked him, got pregnant, the end. Another beautiful love story from the Conniving Bitch Book.

But he must have learned her shit real quick. He keeps the leash tight and that cash flow. He only gives her so much as an allowance. An allowance at her age? That’s got to be a massive gossip point with all the other kept kitties. And the shit gets better. He comes home this one time for some fucking reason and she starts following him around like a fucking lap dog. Talking at him with the ‘Oh, honey, oh, sweetie’ shit. He could have cared less. He got what he needed and headed the fuck out quick. No kiss, no good-bye, just out the goddamn door like the place was on fire. I could really see the love and caring there.

And the dumb prick, he has to be giving his assistant’s pussy the wet stretch. I mean come on. They’re always working late or going on trips together. Fuck she could almost pass for his bitch wife’s sister. Blond hair and all. Maybe this ones a true blond with a snow colored hair capped crevasse. Besides, I’d bet large his old lady hasn’t touched his dick since she had her last kid, or as I call them, meal tickets.

I guess I couldn’t really blame him. He can’t be that stupid to not know what she had sucked him into and that she doesn’t give a rat’s ass about him. It was most likely the last time she sucked him at all. The cold hearted bitch. Before that she was probably sucking his nut juice down like a milkshake thru a straw, anything she had to do to get her claws in him.

And if her other shitheaded friends knew what she says about them behind their backs I think they’d ripe her bleached blond hair out. She’s a real doozy that one. But none of that is my problem. My problem is her cheap fucking ass not paying us when the works done. The more I sit here staring at this fucking TV and all the shit we do for and have to eat from these pricks, the more it pisses me off. And having to drink this fucking instant shit flavored coffee isn’t making things any fucking better. I need to get off my ass and get a shower. I don’t need to be thinking of all those assholes on my day off. Fuck if I did, I’d run out of my little white pills then I’d really go off my nut. Shower here I come and you better get the goddamn hot water going quick.